i really don't know what to think anymore. thats really all i can say. its so hard. im having really hard time understand whats going on around me its so confusing and frustrating. i just want to bang my head a against a wall so i can stop feeling this way but i cant. i know this is all due to my depression and i can't deny it anymore. its eating away at me, its been eating away at me for so long. but know its finally catching up. i don't know what to say, how to act, i just keep forgetting all the time. im scared. i feel like im losing who i am. this sucks so fucking bad. just hope this doesn't last. i don't want to lose myself. i need to remember who i am so i can properly function in society again. i need to let go of everything in the past cause thats only going to hold me back from what i can do know. there's nothing i can do to change whats happend. this is so stupid, i can't believe how stupid i let myself become. i need to find a way out of this. i don't know how much longer i have. i never felt so alone in my life. these feelings i have are so overwhelming. i can't let it get to me. i need to let it all out.